Where do you stand?
There is a thin line between love and hate as is one between toxic and healthy. To know which side you are on you have to first define what is healthy to you. What does healthy look like in your life? In foods, it’s anything that creates wholeness in your body. It keeps all of your organs functioning correctly. It also keeps your blood flowing properly. You feel great after eating it even if you don’t like the taste, you know it’s good for you. Take the time and think about toxic foods. They are usually the things that make you feel horrible after you eat them, but they taste so good. You get sick from them and have to shut down for days at a time.
Use that same situation and place a relationship there. That’s co-parenting. You have to decide to have the healthy relationship for your children. Boundaries do not taste good, but they will give you a life of peace. Communication is hard but it’s worth it to speak your standards and what goals you have for your children. Healthy co-parenting needs two healthy parents. You have to converse about the children and not your own personal lives. That’s where it gets messy, tricky, and bitterness creeps in. The relationship is over. However, the slightest trigger reminds you of the past. You revert back to the person you hated to be in the breakup. Now, you are moving into toxic.
I know it’s hard when the other person is toxic. In cases like that, pray for them. Be discerning of the time they spend with your child(ren). Don’t get into arguments with them. Hold your tongue and stay calm. Remember your children watch what you do. They observe how you react with each other. You are teaching them how to react with their peers in their life.
Heal from the wounds of the past. Always remember why you didn’t work out and own it. Let it go. Let them go. Do the work to become healed. Let me leave you with tips.
1. Meditate on the word of God.
2. Pray.
3. Listen to uplifting music, podcast, and conversations.
4. Be around other healed people who are positive.
5. Seek counseling.
6. Last but not least, journal!
